a momment of folly.
a reckless decision.
maybe cowardice.
stupid.
lazy around, playing, watching.
i thought, if i were to quit, what would i be doing next year anyway?

and it feels weird.
chunking down mcspicys, thinking, so what if i get fat, it doesnt matter anymore.

after just one day, thinking of the things i would do with all those hours free, i think what i did was damn stupid. im not going t be a shuaige, everyday stay at home and play yu-gi-oh cards and play audition and maple, its just not me.

i definetely can't mug everyday, its impossible, and its freaking depressing.
i just have to manage my time.
stop playing ping-pong. and follow in guang yan's footsteps(but its hard to believe he accomplished it, what self-control, huh!)

I need it.

besides, after 3years of training, i cant put my last year to waste, can i?
its become part of my life.

so its foolish to have thought i could just discard it away.
im sorry for my recklessness.

i havent burned out, but i think i should take a break.
i just cant bring myself to go and start jogging again, with that worry on my mind.

but i will get over it soon,
i won't quit.
sorry for saying dumb things